Bonding through Breastfeeding

A Note Before Reading: I am aware adoptive breastfeeding is not for every adoption case. I have two babies I did not breastfeed because of various circumstances. I do not think breastfeeding is the ONLY way to bond with your child, but I do believe it is an amazing opportunity if one is able. I am simply sharing my journey with our youngest daughter and spreading awareness of Adoptive Breastfeeding through these posts. I know some mama's who birth their babies are not able to breastfeed. There is absolutely no shame or guilt meant to be portrayed here if you have chosen differently or have circumstances that have hindered you from breastfeeding. I believe everyone's family story is unique and beautiful, I'm just sharing part of mine!

Adoptive Breastfeeding Part II



She was here, finally.

It was late in the night. She was just minutes old. She had been wiped down, but still held evidence of delivery. The nurses had left the three of us in the dark hospital room to nurse and bond for the first time. As I cradled her 8lb body to mine those dark slanted eyes began to open.


There we were.

She stared at me and I at her.

We were connected.

We were bonded.

We were close.


She effortlessly nursed for 45 minutes and I could barley believe we were here. All those hours that went into having this precious, natural God-given moment seemed totally worth it.


As an adoptive mama I didn’t have the privilege of birthing my daughter. God didn’t write her story or mine that way. Her beautiful birth mom carried her for nine months, and then labored many hours to bring our daughter into the world. We celebrate this in our home. We welcome the fact God wrote our daughter’s story this way. We also rejoice that God allowed me to nurse her from the moment she opened her eyes. I cannot fully explain the deep attachment that takes place between a nursing child and their mama. God created it to be this way. I’m confident He designed it this way for far deeper reasons than a nutritional one, although that reason is enormous, for sure!


The deep connection adoptive breastfeeding creates is undeniable. The loss our daughter experienced at birth affected her and will continue to do so her whole life. As her mama, I wanted her to know from the moment we heard about her we were “for” her. We wanted the very best for her and we knew being emotionally and physically connected to us was crucial. My husband and I had cared for many children who did not have this connection at an early age. Children who were emotionally detached or those who attached to everyone they met because they had not experienced safe, nurturing and caring. We knew the hardships for children who were unable to bond deeply their first year of life. We wanted deep, safe connection for our daughter and chose to begin that journey through adoptive breastfeeding.  


Many who observed us as new parents probably thought we were a little crazy. The great extent we went to bond with our little girl that first year of her life was extreme by some standards. As we now approach our daughter’s second birthday, there are no regrets. The choices we made to bond with our sweet girl make the sacrifice seem small.  

Our deep connection is unyielding.

Our profound bond is immeasurable.

Our closeness is abundant. 


I can’t help but think breastfeeding played an enormous part.