Choosing to Breastfeed our Adopted Daughter

Adoptive Breastfeeding Part I

I’ll never forget the day we met our daughter’s birth mom for the first time. She was beautiful, quiet and stronger than she knew. My husband and I sat across the table from birth mom, her sister and her own mother. The sun was dancing and the trees were swaying. Onlookers would have thought we were friends catching up over lunch. Little did they know we were partaking in an earth- shaking moment that would change all of us… forever.


We had just met. Birth mom asked us that day to love, nurture and care for baby girl. We were shocked, humbled and overwhelmed with love for our daughter’s birth mom and soon to be daughter. I knew our daughter’s birth mom only wanted the very best for baby girl. There was a deep humbling that took place within me when birth mom looked across the table and said we were her answered prayer.


Us. We were her answered prayer.  


It was an earth-shaking moment that left us humbled… forever.


You know the kind of love that is totally selfless.

The kind of love that calls you to lay your comforts down.

The kind of love that is hard to explain.


A mother’s love.


That was the kind of love I saw in birth mom that day. It was the kind of love God began to drive deeper into my own heart that day.


As we started preparing for baby girl we only had eight weeks until her due date. We were doing a million things to prepare our hearts and home, all the while keeping our hands open, knowing anything could happen.


A thought lingered in my mind.


Adoptive breastfeeding.


I began to research and talk with other women who had successfully breastfed their adoptive children.


I couldn’t shake it.


Just like any mother, I wanted the very best for our soon to be daughter. I wanted her to have the God- given nutrients I knew she needed. This, hard to explain, mother’s love grew deep roots in my heart and I was determined.


I didn’t know if I could produce all of what she needed, but I was hoping one day soon my daughter and I would have the privilege of partaking in one of the most natural, God-designed moments.    


I began the most time consuming process to induce lactation. With each waking hour I worked to produce milk, God was working to produce in me a deeper love. He was beckoning me deeper into a mother’s heart those 8 weeks leading up to our daughter’s arrival.


As an adoptive mama I knew there would be great obstacles to overcome with attachment. I was not naïve to the hardships in connecting, attaching and feeling emotionally bonded to our daughter and her to us. I wanted these things desperately for our baby girl… and I wanted them for me. The bonding that would come from adoptive breastfeeding was worth the sacrifice for me personally. I had to give it a try.  We are created to connect. We are created to experience the closeness of a mother’s love.


The kind of love that is totally selfless.

The kind of love that calls you to lay your comforts down.

The kind of love hard to explain.